Atonement (Ian McEwan)

I've made a writing journal about Atonement once already, but I am currently rereading the novel and I have to make a new spiel about it. Because it is just that amazing and enchanting and trainwreck-y.

First of all: the novel is fantastic and so is the movie. So go read/watch.

I read the novel for the first time around December 28 (just around the new year... I updated my LiveJournal about it). It was rivetting and I finished it in two days. And I was finishing it before I went to bed but the ending was so unexpected and surprising and heartbreaking that I couldn't go to sleep for another two hours. It was devestating and moving.

I then saw the movie in... January/February (?) with my mom. It was perfect and stunning. The characters came alive in the most magnificent ways and the emotions were stark and believable. I was crying through most of the second half of the film... no joke.

So now, as I reread this masterfully written novel, I find myself reading with a heavy heart. I already know the fates of the characters and McEwan teases with little bits such as:

"If she had, she would not have committed her crime. So much would not have happened, nothing would have happened, and the smoothing hand of time would have made the evening barely memorable: the night the twins ran away."

I already know what happens after Briony leaves the window, looking in at her mother, and instead of going inside joins the search party for the twins. And I know about her misunderstanding and everyone's misconceptions and the depth of the situations of the day. But the characters can't see it. And the most frustrating part of rereading this amazing novel is knowing that they never will. As I reread, I look farther into Lola's reactions to Briony's soothing and her questions by the lake. As I reread, I look for a deeper meaning, to find deceptions and cruelties and true intentions because I know they must be there - somewhere - for me to find.

But the truth is that the book is a printed work of fiction and will never change, no matter how much I search for clues that lessen the heartbreak. As much as I wish things would change - because the characters are captivating and wholly developed and you can understand the workings of each of their minds (except for a select two... *cough*LolaandPaulMarshal*cough*) - I know they can't. The novel is beautifully written but then again devestating to read because it is like watching a train wreck: you know what is coming and are helpless to stop it.

Nevertheless, I am sure that I will read Atonement time and time again... and even backed with the film adaptation's beautiful soundtrack, because it fits the mood of the entire novel seamlessly.