The Gray Room

The walls have been painted gray and they are the flattest, smoothest walls. They cast no shadows and repel any shadow that dares come near. There is one light hanging from the gray ceiling. It is white and bright like a singular star. And on one gray wall hangs a clock, each hand spinning from number to number far too quickly to illustrate the true passage of time. After staring at it, the whole rooms seems to be spinning.

In the center of the room, there is one reclining chair. It is old, worn and tattered, showing the scars of war from years of exposure to the elements. In some places, cushion stuffing pops out like foam popcorn. In many places, threads and chunks of material stick up like harmless cactus needles. The chair is like a mirage in the desert: if you give in to the comfort it advertises, will it disappear?

Skin begins to crawl as the room spins faster and faster. The recliner begins to creak and rock with the rotations of the room. Eyes close but cannot block out the strange vision of the gray walls, the white light, the broken recliner, the spinning hands of the clock. Outside the room, there are the sounds of a world crashing apart. A world sounds like a crying baby, a falling tree, a roaring crowd, an angry ocean, when it falls apart.

Arms cover the ears, fingers clasp behind the bones of the spine, trying to block out the sounds of a world at its end. But the room keeps spinning and the sounds only grow louder to compensate for the muffling. One person, solitary, rocking back and forth, hunched over, barely able to breathe for the weight of the world prying its chest apart.

Then the room stops spinning and the world stops falling apart. A door appears in the opposite wall. It opens. A rush of warm, natural light floods in. Outside of the door are fields of flowers and butterflies, rolling hills and tall, green trees. Outside the clocks tick to the right rhythm, the world is quiet like a trickling stream and there is air and life and color.

Legs stretch to their full length and muscles move beneath the skin. Soon, the room is empty and the world outside has rediscovered its long-lost child.

Graduation Blues

Even though I'm not a senior (yet), I'm getting the graduation blues anyway. Let me explain.

When the 8h graders graduated middle school and went into the grown up world of high school, it was okay with all the 7th graders because we'd be joining them again in a year when we got to high school too. It was just a year of abandonment by our older friends before we all reunited into one big force again.

But now as high school comes to a close for the class of 2008, while they're all saying "Finally!" I'm saying, "... already?" These three years have flown by and I'm not ready to let a lot of people go. This is because I know that I won't be following them to the next stage in life like I did before. This is going to be the final and permanent seperation of the class of 2008 and the class of 2009.

After high school, members of the classes before us and the classes after us will disperse all across the state, even across the country. As I look through the end-of-the-year issue of the Torch at who is going where, it makes me sad that I know so many people and they're going somewhere I know I won't be going. In this category are the people electing to go to a state school and those who are going out of state for opportunities bigger and better than the ones they can find in Iowa.

And all this makes college more real in a way that I know that I really won't know most of the people I'll be learning next to once I graduate. But more than anything, it makes me sad to know that in only a week, there are people I won't see again except on Facebook or in remembering the good ol' times of high school (or the not so good ol' times, but memorable moments nonetheless).

We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things.

Yesterday, the new album from Jason Mraz hit stores with a startling lack of shelf space. And because I just completed my fourth and final AP exam today, I decided to treat myself to a nice, musical treat to enjoy while working on my long-neglected homework pile.

After listening to the CD, I have some definite favorites which I am sure I will point out. My first favorite would be the second track, "I'm Yours" which I'd already heard from a mix my friend Danielle made me. I'd loved it already and was pleased to find it on the CD. It's a mellow, beachy song that makes you want to sit down, close your eyes and sway from side to side (so get your lighters out, people). Another favorite of mine is "Lucky" which features Colbie Caillat. It's a really happy, pretty song and the duet is absolutely amazing. The lyrics are really relatable and fun and Jason seems to really have fun through the entire beginning of the song (listen and you'll hear what I mean).

Another one of my favorites "Details in the Fabric" which features James Morrison. I heard this song was immediately reminded of another soft, acoustic musician but I can't put my finger on the name. I got this vibe with a lot of the songs on the album, so perhaps it only shows that all the songs are distinctly new and yet distinctly Mraz-esque. But this song is really beautiful and there's a lurking emotion behind each of the melodies and all the vocals that really makes it come to life and stick out from most of the other songs.

The next three songs, "Coyotes", "Only Human" and "The Dynamo of Volition" are probably my favorite songs of the whole album. They have the familiar fast-talking lyrics that we're familiar with from songs such as "Wordplay" (Mr A-Z) and "The Remedy" (Waiting for my Rocket to Come). They all have more minor-sounding melodies which makes them a bitter sort of upbeat. And did I mention there are traces of synthesized beat tracks in the background as well? These songs are really fun, especially if you focus and try to concentrate on the flow of the words (especially on "The Dynamo of Volition"). And the end of "Coyotes" have little kids singing. Which is absolutely adorable.

The only song I wish hadn't appeared on this album was the fourth track, "Butterfly." This song was a little awkward to listen to because it showed all the sexual thoughts running through Jason's head in some strange, somewhat comical metaphors. It is fun to listen to but you still feel awkward listening to it. It could have been just as well-rounded without that particular track.

Songs I excluded: "Live High", "Love for a Child", "If It Kills Me" and "A Beautiful Mess" all of which are good but not immediate favorites.